Youth Share Live

by Jhonelle Grant | article – July 21 Magazine

We Asked Single Christian Women, Over 30 Years Old, Six Questions

We received 72 responses from 11 countries

Singleness at the age of 30 is often frowned upon and seen as a great misfortune, particularly for Christian women. #YouthShare did a survey to ascertain how Christian ladies over the age of 30 view their singleness. The responses varied but there were quite a bit of similarities with recurring themes of contentment, struggle and disappointment. This leaves the Church in an interesting spot. The Church must become aware, responsive and adaptive to the peculiar needs of this specific subset of its congregation.        How will the next generation handle singleness if the Church does not take on a unique and Spirit-led approach to this phase of life. The responses below show the diversity of perspective on singleness from our respondents which ultimately underscores the diversity of approach the Church must be willing to take. See below a summary of responses along with a few highlighted ones that capture common sentiments and themes.

Survey Responses

Q 1. What is your Christian background?

Q 2. Have you ever been married? 

We should note that over 75% of the responses came from women who’ve never been married. The mix of just under 25% who’ve been married before makes the responses all the more interesting. 

Q 3. How is your singleness affecting your relationship with God?

A number of respondents relayed that they have seen how this free time has given them more opportunity to focus on the Lord and has granted them the ability to serve well because they are not constrained by responsibilities.

“I am who I am in Christ. My commitment to Him has nothing to do with my marital status. I hope to get married as it has to do with my purpose in life. Being unmarried and single minded affords me the time and space to develop my relationship with the Lord without the clutter of responsibilities to immediate family. Any defaults cannot be blamed on family responsibility.”

While others expressed that they have been struggling to remain content in their singleness and often equate this stage in life to failure as a Christian woman. Other respondents expressed that their singleness has also caused them to doubt that God’s intentions for them are good and battle with feeling as though they have done something wrong and singleness is their punishment.

I am trying to encourage myself that as a single lady I have more time and energy to focus on God. The reality though is many times that I feel like not being as good as other Christian women that are married, and it is sometimes difficult to get out of thinking like there is something wrong in me or something lacking.

Read all the written responses to this question here > Written responses

Q 4. Are you preparing yourself for a husband, life or any eventuality?

Of the 72 respondents to the survey, 3 responded in the affirmative, to preparing for a husband. Twenty-seven (27) of the ladies said that instead of preparing themselves for a husband that they were preparing for life and 42 women said they were more so in preparation for any eventuality. 

From this there could be drawn a few inferences on whether there is a reduction in interest in marriage, if the single women are jaded and would much rather protect their hearts by preparing generally versus being deliberate in preparing for marriage. Regardless of what is assumed from these results it must be noted that the Church as an institution that provides spiritual guidance must seek God’s direction in tackling the multiplicity of views on this topic.

Q 5. What strategies do you use to maintain your chastity while single?

There was a consistent theme coming from the responses for this question. Majority of the respondents said that their strategies involved spending time with God and getting actively involved in ministry. Other respondents added the importance of fleeing environments of temptation and being mindful of the content they entertain as well as having an accountability partner.

Read all the written responses to this question here > Written responses

Q 6. Has your spiritual community taken you for granted or treated you differently because you are single?

Thankfully 73.6% of the respondents said they were not treated differently because of their singleness. However, one respondent from one of the previous questions relayed her experience. See below:

Trying to figure out how to navigate my life as a proud feminist/independent woman alongside the tendency for the church to perpetuate limiting ideas of what a woman can be in ways that make her less than/incomplete unless she is married. I don’t necessarily agree. With that said, being single hasn’t really impacted my relationship with God, but Christians.

The survey pointed to several issues that must be tackled yet handled with care for the 30 year old Christian woman. There is a generation succeeding us in a few years and it is these trends and observations about marital relationships that will inform their perception of singleness and marriage. This must be stewarded well, so the generation after us will have a God-honouring and Christ-exalting view of both singleness and marriage.

Read all the other written responses here > Written responses

Time to YouthSHARE Live Event Sat 31 July 2021


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